


As We Falter

by Historywriter2007



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, New York City, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, September 11 Attacks, Terrorism, mix CD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-07-28 12:24:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7640065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Historywriter2007/pseuds/Historywriter2007
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Katniss and Peeta met in college and were lucky enough to get their first jobs together at Abernathy Advertising in the World Trade Center, but on September 11, 2001 they have to fight to survive the Attacks on America.  Months later Katniss decides Peeta is better without her holding him back, but he won't let her go without a fight. Will they be strong enough to get through the aftershocks or will they break them apart forever? </p><p>Trigger Warning:Terrorism</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. As We Falter/ Breath

**Author's Note:**

> To the reader: I was around the age that Katniss and Peeta are for this story on 9/11/2001. The fears and thoughts are what many of us felt at the time. This will be a true historical fiction and will not be on what we know today, but what was believed at the time. I did a lot of research and as the story goes I will link to a lot of stories and documentaries on the events of that day. While I was not in NYC or DC at the time I had many friends who were greatly affected (one lost 9 family and friends in the WTC that day). I went to DC a year later to intern and heard many first-hand accounts of that day. I hope to do justice to those who were lost, but please keep in mind this is not a story for everyone.
> 
> Thank you to @Papofglencoe for her amazing beta work.

“After all that has just passed, all the lives taken and all the possibilities and hopes that died with them, it is natural to wonder if America's future is one of fear.

Some speak of an age of terror. I know there are struggles ahead and dangers to face. But this country will define our times, not be defined by them.

As long as the United States of America is determined and strong, this will not be an age of terror. This will be an age of liberty here and across the world.

Great harm has been done to us. We have suffered great loss. And in our grief and anger we have found our mission and our moment.

Freedom and fear are at war. The advance of human freedom, the great achievement of our time and the great hope of every time, now depends on us.

Our nation, this generation, will lift the dark threat of violence from our people and our future. We will rally the world to this cause by our efforts, by our courage. 

We will not tire, we will not falter and we will not fail.” George W. Bush 9/20/2001

George W. Bush 9/20/2001

**************

June 2002

Katniss pushed the door open to find silence. She wasn’t sure if she should be happy or sad about that. She knew he would respect her wishes and not be here, but a part of her still wanted him to save her from herself. Going to Joanna’s after she left didn’t help either, even though she was doing the right thing by leaving, at least for him. He was worthy of so much more, more than she felt she could ever hope to give him. The events of the last year had broken her beyond repair, and he deserved someone who was whole and could give him a real future.  

Joanna called her brainless again—she had used that term several times with Katniss when it came to her relationship with Peeta, but she felt Jo just didn’t understand. Joanna, like the rest of them, found ways to get over that day and move on. Katniss, on the other hand, felt stuck in that moment every day since that horrible day. She told herself it was because she had lost more than the rest of them, but even Rory seemed happier with each passing day.  

She walked over to the breakfast bar, the one they never used. They’d always ended up eating on the family room couch instead of the kitchen—it was more comfortable that way. So many meals were shared on the couch that were followed by kisses that would get heated quickly. They were moments when she felt alive again, moments that she never wanted to end—but they needed to, for his sake. 

She smelled them before she saw them: cheese buns. They were still warm, so he couldn’t have left that long ago. They were her favorite, something he made when he knew she needed a pick-me-up. Of course, he would still think of her after all she had done to hurt him; it just proved to her why he was so much better than her. Next to the cheese buns was a note and CD—she shook as she picked it up, knowing this must be his goodbye. Instead, she found his last-ditch effort to get her to stay.

 

_ Katniss- _

_ I know that when you make up your mind there is usually no changing it, but I hope that I am wrong this time and you will come back to me. Before you leave, please just listen to the CD. Someone once told me that music can help us remember the good and deal with the bad. These songs are a reminder of our good and bad times, the times that made us who we are. I am at the bakery and will stay there until 5. Hopefully you will still be here when I get home, but either way, I will know your answer. Remember I love you and have since the day I first met you.   _

_ Always, _

_ Peeta _

 

Katniss felt the tears begin to fall from her eyes—she owed this to him, to take the hour and simply listen to what he had made. How could he still love her after everything, after knowing the truth about her fears for the future and what she was not willing to give him? She walked over to the stereo to place the CD in, only to find he had been listening to her old Matchbox 20 CD, the one she told him was great for breakups.  This made everything seem more real to her somehow...maybe she really didn’t want this.

The first song brought her back to the beginning.

 

_ ************ _

_ Breath _

_ In a way I know my heart is waking up _

_ As all the walls come tumbling down _

_ Closer than I've ever felt before _

_ And I know, and you know _

_ There's no need for words right now _

 

_ I can feel you breathe _

_ Washing over me _

_ And suddenly I'm melting into you _

_ There's nothing left to prove _

_ Baby, all we need is just to be _

 

June 2000

Peeta hated doing laundry even more since the damn elevator had broken and he needed to carry it down six flights of stairs. It wasn’t that it was hard for him to carry it down—God knew it was a lot lighter than the hundred pound bags of flour he used to lug around the bakery his dad owned—but it was still annoying. Of course his hatred for laundry could also be due to the fact that he managed to shrink something every time.  

Peeta stopped in his tracks as he entered the laundry room. The most beautiful voice he had ever heard filled the room, and he thought if the birds could hear her they would stop to listen. He slowly entered to find a petite woman with long, dark hair worn in a single braid over her shoulder. She was filling one of the washing machines with clothes and seemed to be oblivious to him.  She was singing a newer Faith Hill song, and while she may not have looked like her, she could certainly have given her a run for her money in both the voice and looks departments. 

The woman was finishing at the washer, and Peeta knew he needed to do something—otherwise she’d catch him staring. So he walked over to the machine next to her, causing her to jump at the sight of someone suddenly next to her. He smiled at her, as she removed her headphones.  Her beauty took his breath away. Her gray eyes reminded him of the sky after a storm, her olive skin was flawless and her lip gloss made his attention stop at her lips, he was shocked by the urge he had to kiss her. 

Peeta shook his head as he chastised himself,  _ get it together Mellark, _ when he noticed her scowling at him he started to speak. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.” When the scowl hardened he held his hands up in mock defense.  

She soften a bit at the gesture and spoke, “It’s okay. I was singing out loud again, wasn’t I?”

“Yeah, but it was beautiful.” The blush creeped across her face with the simple compliment, and she looked ready to bolt.  “I’m Peeta, 5B,” he blurted out, he offered his hand to her in the hopes of keeping her there a few minutes longer. 

The woman reached out to take his hand, giving it a hearty shake. “Hey, Peeta, 5B. I’m Katniss, 5A. I just moved in with Annie—I think she’s dating your roommate.”

“So you  _ are _ the new roommate! I couldn’t believe that there was someone who didn’t get along with Annie. She’s the nicest person I have ever met.”  

“I know, right?” Peeta noticed her change in demeanor, she seemed to brighten as she talked about her friend. “She took me in when my roommate decided she wanted to study abroad at the last minute. I’m not sure why Glimmer didn’t get along with her, but I think it may have been more of an issue with Finnick. I’m not gonna to have the same issue, am I?”

“I don’t think so.” Peeta thought about his friend, although he acted like he was completely full of himself it was all a fake. In truth he was an extremely loyal and would do anything for his friends. “Just remember 90% of what he says is bullshit, the other 10% is about Annie.” This comment won him a half smile.  

“I’ll definitely keep that in mind. Well, I will see you later, Peeta, 5B. I need to do some reading for my Media Relations class with Prof. Latier.”

“No way—I’m in that class too!  Maybe we could study together sometime?” The second the words left his mouth he could hear the desperation behind them. Hopefully she didn’t pick up on it.

“Yeah, maybe. I guess I’ll see you in class tomorrow, if not before,” she said, then turned and walked away. 

Peeta couldn’t stop himself from staring at the sway of her hips as she walked through the door and disappeared down the hall. He knew he shouldn’t be staring at her—it’ was all wrong. He was dating someone, but there was something about Katniss that he felt drawn to. He shook his head at the realization that he was a goner for someone he just met.  

Shit, now what should he do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The speech was given by Pres. George W. Bush during the State of the Union Address weeks after the attacks, you can find the full speech here.  
> http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/nation/specials/attacked/transcripts/bushaddress_092001.html
> 
> The song is Breath by Faith Hill, here is the video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCmsZUN4r_s


	2. Crush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to the amazing papofglencoe for her beta skills. You are the best!!

Crush-

So let it be what it'll be

Don't make a fuss and get crazy over you and me

Here's what I'll do

I'll pay loose

Run like we have a day with destiny

It's just a little crush (crush)

Not like I faint everytime we touch

It's just some little thing (crush)

Not like everything I do depends on you

-Jennifer Paige

July 2000

Katniss jumped up on the kitchen counter as Peeta worked on his famous cheese buns, which were “the best snack for studying,” according to him. She still couldn’t understand why he would take so much time making a snack when they could’ve just put a bag of popcorn in the microwave. One thing she did know—she loved watching him work in the kitchen.

The day after they met in the dreaded laundry room they ended up leaving at the same time for class, so of course it made sense to walk together. Now, a month later, they still walked together—on the way he talked and she listened.  She was still shocked that, for some reason, her introverted personality didn’t scare him away like it had for so many others.

She was never any good at making people like her, but usually she didn’t care. She had only made two new friends in school: her roommate since freshman year, Rue, and Annie, who was really Rue’s friend. Her friendship with Peeta seemed different—she shocked herself when she realized she wanted him to like her, and she looked for more ways to be around him. Usually she tagged along when Annie went to Finnick and Peeta’s apartment, but when he invited her over for the first time on her own to study for their midterm she felt like her heart would explode.

It wasn’t just that she liked talking—well, listening to him—she found that she loved his unruly blonde curls and frequently fought the urge to run her fingers through them. She often wondered how his long, golden eyelashes didn’t get tangled when he blinked. Katniss found herself mesmerized by the way his arms look as they kneaded the dough, but still the part of him that caused the butterflies in her stomach to take flight was his bright blue eyes, especially when they looked deep into her own gray ones.  

What she didn’t know was that Peeta was having a hard time focusing on the dough instead of the way her legs swayed back and forth, each move causing him to glance higher and higher to where her tan legs disappeared beneath her cutoff jean shorts. The sound of the front door opening caused him to finally look away, and he blushed when he saw Finnick, knowing he was caught.

Annie, completely oblivious, went straight for Katniss. “We were looking for you guys,” she said. “ We are going out tonight... you want to join?”

Katniss answered before Peeta got the chance, “We have a test tomorrow, but maybe next time.” She knew they could’ve gone out for a bit, but she finally had the chance to spend time with Peeta alone and she wanted to take advantage of it. Maybe tonight she would find out if this was more than just a crush.

“Okay, but will you at least help me pick out an outfit?” Annie pleaded. Katniss wanted to stay with Peeta but knew it would look weird if she didn’t go. She smiled and took Annie’s arm reluctantly as they left the apartment.  

Peeta went back to work separating the dough into smaller sections so he could fill them with cheese while he tried to avoid Finnick’s gaze. He knew what was coming and didn’t want to give Finnick the satisfaction of recognizing what he was doing.  

Finnick walked over, looking down at everything on the counter before chuckling, “You certainly are going all out on this study date. What happened to your go-to study snack of popcorn?”

“I just wanted to make something nice for Katniss... she’s stressed out about the test.” Although Peeta was a great liar—something he had been gifted with while avoiding the wrath of his mother growing up—he knew Finnick could see right through him.

“Sure, she’s nervous and you are just being a good friend. I bet you'll be able to find other ways of helping her work out that stress later tonight too.” Finnick waggled his eyebrows at Peeta suggestively. But the furrowing of Peeta’s brows caused Finnick’s expression to go from playful to confused. “Wait a minute, are you still dating that Clove chick, or did you finally break up with that psycho?”

“I haven’t officially done anything about Clove. We went on a few dates, and I thought it was going somewhere, but we haven’t talked since she went to the Hamptons last month. I don’t even know if she thought we were exclusive or not—we never really had that talk,” Peeta answered while putting his head down. _What the hell am I doing,_ he thought. Not that he had the ability around Katniss, but he never once mentioned that there was someone else. He tried to reason that he hadn’t done anything with Katniss—in fact tonight was the first time they were truly alone. But he still felt like a scumbag because his mind went to Katniss more than anything else, especially Clove.  

Finnick’s voice brought him out of his thoughts. “You just have to break up with her.  It’s not fair to either of you, plus if Katniss finds out you had a girlfriend while trying to date her she’s gonna be pissed. And if Annie finds out, it’s going to make my life hell… please don’t make my life hell.  Annie may look small and timid, but she is a fierce protector of her friends, and she really likes Katniss, so don’t fuck this up.”

“What makes you think I like Katniss anyway... maybe I’m just being friendly?” Peeta said with a defensive tone, hoping to get Finnick to back down.

“I know you, man. You don’t do crap like this for just anyone.” Finnick waved his hand over the counter filled with dough, cheese and spices to point out what Peeta tried to ignore. “Plus, I see the way you look at her. This is more than some stupid crush. You’ve never looked at anyone you’ve dated the way you look at her.”

“Yeah, and how’s that?” Peeta leaned his side on the counter while crossing his arms across his chest, knowing that Finnick, the master of communication, would pick up his body language.

Finnick leaned into Peeta like he was going to tell him a big secret. “You look at her like she is your everything. You look at her the same way I look at Annie.” He leaned back before continuing, “It’s not a bad thing—as long as you get rid of Clove before you go any further.” He turned to walk out of the apartment, stopping at the door to look back and get the last word. “You know I’m right, so just do it already.” With those words he walked out the door, leaving Peeta to his thoughts.

Finnick was right—he needed to end it with Clove. It wasn’t like he saw any kinda future with her. Peeta pushed off of the counter and headed to his room. He picked up his cell phone and flipped through the contact list until he found her name. He shook his head, realizing he had never even set up a speed dial for her. Peeta hit send and waited. After two rings it went to voicemail. Even better—she was ignoring his call. This was the right thing to do, but he couldn’t do it over the phone.

“Hi Clove, it’s Peeta. We need to talk and soon. Please call me back when you get this.” He sighed and put the phone down. He wished they could’ve talked, but at least he had admitted to himself that Clove was not who he wanted and that he really liked Katniss. Now all he had to do was control himself around Katniss until he talked to Clove. That was easier said than done, since Katniss’s return to the apartment and the sound of her voice as she called out his name caused flutters in his stomach.  

Fuck, this was going to be harder than he thought.

He survived the study session relatively unscathed, although every accidental touch sent sparks through his body. Around 1 a.m. Katniss went across the hall to her apartment, and Peeta collapsed onto his bed without changing from his athletic shorts and t-shirt. The knocks on his door pulled him from a deep sleep—he felt like only a few minutes had passed, but when he reached for his clock he saw it was now 2:45. He stumbled from his bed, opening the door before looking through the peephole. He wished he had looked first so he could’ve hid his surprise. Katniss was standing before him in a tanktop and short shorts, obviously she had been asleep before showing up at his doorstep.  

“Annie is puking, and it’s so loud. Can I stay on your couch?”

“You don’t want to do that—God knows what has happened on that couch. Why don’t you just sleep in my bed.” Peeta blurted out his response before he could stop himself, blaming it on being not fully awake. He tried to backpedal, “I mean... friends can sleep together... I mean be in the same bed, right?” _What the fuck Mellark?_ He wanted to facepalm himself as he looked at Katniss, who appeared to be mulling over her options: a gross couch, puking roomate, or his bed.

She finally answered in a less than confident tone. “No, you're right. We can stay in the same bed. Please tell me your sheets are somewhat clean.”

“I ventured to the laundry room the other day.” He wanted to add that he had only jerked off in the shower ever since he’d been caught by Finnick a couple of weeks back, but he figured that was information she didn’t need—especially since he had been thinking of her at the time. Instead he opened the door wider to allow her to come into the apartment. Cautiously, she walked in and followed him to his room.

It was the first time she had ventured past the main living areas, and she was surprised to find his room extremely neat. Books were stacked on both sides of a closed orange Dell laptop on his desk. There were a few pictures of him with two other guys, who she guessed were his brothers because they all looked like they could’ve been triplets.  His bed looked inviting—the navy and orange plaid comforter was folded at the foot of the full-sized bed, and the matching navy cotton sheets looked soft.

Peeta broke the awkward silence, “You can choose either side. I don’t mind where I sleep.” He cringed when he realized his voice cracked, and he hoped she thought it was because he was sleeping before she came over instead of from nerves. Seeing her with very little on next to his bed made him lightheaded, and he forced himself to think of anything else to keep the blood from pooling to his dick.

She smiled and laid down on the side closest to the door. “My father was a firefighter... I always put myself as close as I can to the exit.”

Peeta nodded in understanding as he moved to the other side of the bed. He knew that her father had been killed, but they hadn’t talked about their families in detail yet. He laid on his back, trying to make sure there was enough space, before he let out a chuckle.

Katniss turned her head to face him, confusion marring her features. “What’s so funny?”

  
“I just feel like I’m back in middle school. Sister Paylor always used to tell us to leave room for the Holy Spirit when we were at school dances. I think we have plenty of room for him.” He pointed to the space between them.  

 

“You look like you’re going to fall off the bed, though. You can move closer... I won’t bite,” Katniss added. The words floated around in his head. He knew she wouldn’t bite, but he didn’t know if he would be able to keep himself in check if he was any closer. Regardless, he moved a couple of inches over before adding a ‘goodnight.’ He laid still as he waited for her breathing to level out before chancing a glance at her. She looked peaceful, her lips were slightly parted and her scowl was gone. He thought he could get used to this, but quickly shoved those thoughts away. Even though he was trying to end things with Clove he still had no idea if Katniss even liked him more than a friend, but for a moment he let himself dream.

For the second time Peeta was woken up by a loud knock on his door, but this time it was light out. A quick glance to his side confirmed that last night was not a dream, since Katniss was still next to him sound asleep. He looked at the clock next to her and realized they would need to get up soon, so he lightly touched her shoulder. He laughed at her shock, which went away as she realized where she was. “It’s a little after eight... I thought you would want to get moving,” he added. The knocks on his door started again. “I better get that.”

He jumped from bed, letting Katniss get her bearings before she got up. He walked to the door with thoughts of warming up some cheese buns and making coffee for Katniss. Nothing happened—in fact he was pretty sure they were able to sleep without touching each other—but he wanted to make sure she was in a good mood before their test. He thought back to the way she moaned when she ate the cheese buns for the first time, and he wanted to hear that again.

He pulled the door open to find Clove on the other side—damn he really needed to start using that fucking peephole.  

“Hi,” he said as he pulled the door against his body to block Clove from seeing into the apartment. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, you said we needed to talk. I got back last night and had a meeting this morning with my advisor, so I figured I should just stop by. What did you want to talk about?”

Just as the words left Clove’s mouth, Katniss’s voice filled the apartment as she walked toward them. Peeta felt like a deer in headlights, especially when he realized that she told him she had stolen his shirt to walk back across the hall. He wished he could’ve been able to appreciate how she looked in his Columbia T-shirt, which covered her entire outfit—he was never going to wash that shirt again—but instead he was in full panic over how this looked to both Katniss and Clove.

“Peeta, I think I lost one of my earrings in your bed, can we look for them after—” Katniss stopped as she got to the door and saw Clove on the other side.

“What the fuck is this?” Clove asked venomously. “Is _this_ what you wanted to talk about?”

Katniss stopped in her tracks and her eyes went wide when she took in the scene in front of her.  She couldn’t believe what she was seeing, of course Peeta was too good to be true. “I better go. I’ll see you later, Peeta,” Katniss said as she tried to sneak around him and past the woman in the doorway. As soon as she was through she hurriedly opened her door and disappeared.

“Oh, isn’t that convenient? Your new fuck buddy’s right across the hall. You know she’s here on a scholarship—she’s not like us, Peeta.” Peeta shook his head at her comment, she was always so focused on image and money.  

“What does it matter if she’s on a scholarship? I don’t care about family names, you know that. Besides, we need to talk about us, not her.”

“Well, the way I see it she _is_ a part of this conversation. You couldn’t even wait for me to get back before moving on.”

“Nothing happened, Clove. She needed a place to stay last night, but this isn’t about Katniss. I didn’t even know what we were, and then you took off on vacation and didn’t talk to me once. How do I know what you were doing out there?”

“I was on vacation, Peeta. I was taking a break from everything.”

“And that includes your boyfriend, or whatever the hell you thought I was.”

“Yes, because I didn’t know what you wanted to be either, but I think I have my answer now. I hope you and your little scholarship slut are happy.” Clove spun on her heels and marched down the hall to the stairs.  

Peeta let out a ragged breath and closed the door before he banged his head against it. He should’ve been more upset about the way things ended—it certainly wasn’t the way he envisioned it going, but he was more worried about what Katniss thought. He didn’t want to lose her over someone like Clove. Sure Clove was pretty, but she was always more concerned about money, and he had the right name for her to flaunt.

He rushed around getting ready for class while he practiced the speech he would give to Katniss. How he and Clove had been together for a short amount of time and he tried to end it before moving forward, how he hoped she would take a chance on them.

As he was gathering his bag the front door swung open and an exhausted Finnick appeared. “What the hell did you do? I sent her over here to help you, and now you’ve pissed her off something fierce.”

“How did you know she was pissed?” Peeta cringed at the thought of her being that mad.

“She came in, threw a couple of things around and rushed out the door. When I asked her what was wrong she said she needed to get away from you and your girlfriend. So what the fuck happened?”

Peeta took a deep breath. This was exactly what he feared. “Clove showed up this morning to finally talk, and Katniss was still here. I think she put two and two together—not to mention if she heard any of the breakup, it didn’t sound so great. Clove said a couple of things about Katniss, but I fought back for her.”

“Well, you messed up big this time. I don’t even know if your golden tongue can work on this one. Annie sent me over here to tell you to get your shit together and fix it with Katniss or else.” Finnick didn’t wait for a response before stalking off to his own room.

Although Peeta didn’t want to find out what “or else” could be, nothing Annie could do would be worse than if Katniss cut him out of her life. As he walked out the door he glanced toward her apartment, realizing he’d lost her before he even had her.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song for this chapter is Crush by Jennifer Paige, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIhSnaqou0I&index=2&list=PLpoTT1kKZPmy2PGjx222exE8mxHdKiyLY
> 
> Find me on Tumblr @historywriter2007.


	3. Back to Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta has to face the music, will he be able to win Katniss back?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is delayed, I was on vacation with the family. Thank you again to everyone for reading and to the amazing papofglencoe for her Beta skills. 
> 
> In a few chapters we will get to the day of the attacks, you will see more links and references to the events of that day.

Just stand there I could say so much

But I don’t go there cuz I don’t want to

I was thinking if you were lonely

Maybe we could leave here and no one would know

At least not to the point that we would think so

Everyone here, knows everyone here is thinking about

Somebody else

It’s best if we all keep it under our heads

I couldn’t tell, if anyone here was feeling the way I do

But I’m lonely now, and I don’t know how

To get it back to good

-Matchbox20

 

Katniss couldn’t get away from Peeta fast enough. He had a girlfriend and never mentioned it— how could he do that to her? She thought they had a connection, but instead he verified that she didn’t need this bullshit in her life. All she could think about was how her mother nearly fell apart after her father’s death.  If it wasn’t for Hazel Hawthorne, she was sure her mother would have lost everything, including Katniss and Prim. She still got angry whenever she thought about it. Hazel lost her husband in the same fire that killed her father, but she pushed through and even dragged Katniss’s mom out of her depression, forcing her to go back to her job at the hospital before her paid time off ran out. 

Katniss could hear Clove in the hall yelling at Peeta. The girl was such a bitch. She’d shared a couple of classes with Clove, and after she found out Katniss was on a partial scholarship, one she had earned because her father gave his life for this city, Clove made it a point to remind her of it whenever she could. Katniss couldn’t hear what Peeta said back, but she didn’t need to— she was sure he wasn’t sticking up for her.  He had no reason to stick up for someone he was just killing time with, especially now that he needed to mend his relationship with Clove. She wanted to kick herself for falling for Peeta when it turned out he was just like every other rich asshole on campus. She knew Peeta’s family had money because Finnick would kid Peeta about it, even though he never mentioned it himself. 

Katniss rushed through her morning routine,needing to get out of the apartment before Peeta could catch up to her. She didn’t know what would be worse— him trying to explain and beg for forgiveness, or him telling her that he wasn’t interested in her that way. It was time to cut her losses and remember that love was a complete waste of her time. 

When she left her room she found Finnick looking through the freezer, “Do you have any vodka? I was going to make Annie a Bloody Mary to get her over the hangover hump.”

Katniss marched over to him, knocking him out of the way before reaching behind the carton of ice cream that she would plow through after class to get the vodka, and she slammed it on the counter, turning to leave.

“Hey, what did that vodka ever do to you? Did you not sleep well?” Finnick teased Katniss, he knew she was at his apartment with Peeta— it was his idea for her to go over— but he thought it would’ve been a good thing.

“No, I slept fine.”  _ Actually better than I had in years,  _ she thought. “It was when Peeta’s girlfriend showed up and started calling me names that my day turned bad. By the way, you can let him know I already left. Wouldn’t want him to be late for the midterm.” She stalked to the door before Finnick could offer some bullshit remark she didn’t want to hear, slamming the it behind her.

Katniss didn’t go right to class— she knew if she had an open seat next to her Peeta would fill it— so she hid out in an empty room until she had minutes to spare. When she finally entered the room she saw him in his usual seat, his backpack holding the seat next to him for her, but there was no way in hell she was going to sit there. Katniss walked by him and took a seat two rows up. She could feel his eyes on her, but she was not about to give him the satisfaction of meeting his stare. She just wanted to get through this test and get back to the safety of her apartment, where she could keep him away. 

At least she could thank Peeta for preparing her for the test. He’d done a great job as study partner, and she was able to finish in record time. After she returned the test she glanced his way just to be sure he was still working. Even though Katniss knew he had lied to her, she couldn’t stop herself from watching him as he took the test and how she always thought it was cute that he chewed on the end of his pen when he concentrated. She shook her head to clear those thoughts and hurried from the classroom. Only three weeks left until this class was over— hopefully he wouldn’t be in any other of her classes. 

 

 

Five days. 

Katniss had been avoiding him for five days, and he’d had enough. She wouldn’t even give him the chance to explain, instead she did everything she could to stay away. She left early for class every day but didn’t show up until class started, and she would always take a seat as far away from him as she could. Annie was of no help either. Finnick had been right— she was very protective of her friend, and she made sure that Peeta stayed far away from Katniss. He wasn’t even allowed into their apartment, which was emphasized when she slammed the door in his face when he tried to see Katniss immediately after the test. 

He needed to find a way to get to her, just to explain. If she still thought he was a dick, then he would move on, but he needed to try to make it right. 

Finally Finnick got so sick of Peeta’s sulking he agreed to try to get Annie to stand down for one night. Annie and Finnick were on the couch in the main area when Peeta knocked on the door. Finnick had persuaded Annie to let Peeta talk to Katniss, and she let him walk back to Katniss’s room. 

Peeta felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest as he knocked lightly on her door. He could hear music coming from her room— she always listened to music when she was working. When he heard a “come in” he knew there was no turning back now. He walked through the door and was met by a scowl.

“What the hell are you doing here?” The tone of her voice cut through him like a knife.

Peeta put his hands up slightly in front of him as if he was walking toward a wounded animal, “I just want to explain everything. If you still hate me after that, fine. But please hear me out.”  

“Does Annie know you are here? I’m surprised she even let you through the front door.” Katniss leaned back from her desk, crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“Yeah, she let me in, but there’s a standing threat of bodily harm if I do anything to piss you off.” Peeta tried to smile, but it was impossible because he felt like everything was swiftly collapsing around him. 

Katniss motioned for him to come in before answering in a monotone voice, “Well, talk then.”  

Peeta entered, closing the door behind him and leaning against it. He took a deep breath, but the words he had practiced a thousand times wouldn’t come out. He could see Katniss was running out of the little patience she had— he needed to find his words and fast, but “I’m sorry” was the only thing he could get out. 

“That’s  _ all  _ you have to say? Really, Peeta... I thought you were different and that you actually cared about me. Instead you proved you are just like all the others. Just… just go.” Katniss turned her focus back to her computer, but Peeta couldn’t let it end like this. 

“No, that’s not all I have to say.” The force behind his words made Katniss spin around to face him again. “I know it looked bad, and Clove should have never said those things about you. I don’t care how you are in school, and it’s none of her business either.”

“I really don’t care what your girlfriend thinks of me, Peeta. The problem is you didn’t even tell me you  _ had  _ a girlfriend. That’s something...  _ friends _ talk about.” Katniss wanted to add that she wouldn’t have let herself consider him as anything more if she had known, but she held it back. She felt like she put herself out there and got burned in the process. Of course someone like him would be dating someone like Clove— it was probably arranged by their families. “Besides, I  _ am _ on scholarship. I got it because my dad was killed in the line of duty, and taking the scholarship leaves more money for Prim to go to medical school.”   

Peeta sighed, “It’s not a big deal that you are on a scholarship, you have every right to use that money, your family earned it. I also should’ve been transparent with you, but to be honest I didn’t know what Clove and I even were. She took off to the Hamptons with some friends right before I met you and we’d only been on a couple of dates before she left. Clove and I were over before we began, I don’t even know why I agreed to go out with her.  What I do know is that I really care about you, and I feel like I lost any chance with you.” 

Katniss felt her heart swell for a moment before she remembered why she didn’t want to fall in love. Love only caused pain, and now she was feeling it firsthand. Maybe she could let him in as a friend, but she couldn’t open herself up for more. “I cared for you too... as a friend. I just wish you would have told me about her.” 

“I know, and I’m sorry. I don’t know why I felt the need to keep her a secret.” He knew why, but her  _ as a friend _ comment stopped him from going any further in his explanation. At this point he would take whatever she would give. “Please forgive me. I miss you.” When she didn’t respond right away, he added, “I’ll make you cheese buns whenever you ask. Promise.” He was finally given a small smirk. That smirk gave him some comfort that things could be good again, like the sun coming out on a cloudy day. Of course at this point anything was better than the scowl she’d been levying on him. 

“Okay, I’ll give you a shot at earning my friendship back.” When she looked into his eyes he could see it was going to be a lot of work— but he was up to the task. 

Peeta smiled back. He knew just how to make things light again.  _ Back to Good _ had started, so he played on that, “So we are back to good?” 

“Very funny, Mellark.” 

“I thought so.” He gave her a crooked grin before asking his next question. “I don’t know if I’ve ever been around you when music wasn't playing.  Even during the study—” he had to stop himself from saying date, “session you insisted we put something on for noise. Are you afraid of silence?” 

“No, I just really like music. It  can help us remember the good and deal with the bad.” She got up and walked to the stereo in the corner, stopping the CD before pulling it out and handing it to Peeta. “In fact this may help. I found that Matchbox 20 is perfect for going through a breakup.” 

He took the CD from her, but her words cut through him like a cold wind. If she’d been listening to her “Breakup CD,” she must’ve wanted to be more than friends. 

He was such an ass— if he had broken it off with Clove before she left, or at least right after he met Katniss, this would’ve never happened. He vowed to himself that he would do whatever it took to get her back to believing they could be good together as  _ more  _ than friends.  

“I better go before I screw this up again. Goodnight, Katniss.” He got up and walked back to the door. Something in him wanted her to stop him leaving, but deep down he knew she wouldn’t do that. 

“‘Night. I’ll see you tomorrow, Peeta.” She smiled at him again, wanting him to stay, but knowing this was the right thing. She had to focus on school and keeping herself from getting hurt. As he was leaving she remembered she still had his shirt, “Hey, don’t forget this,” she said, tossing it to him. 

He looked at it for a moment before gently placing it on her bed. “Keep it... it looked better on you anyway.” He smiled at the way her cheeks reddened at his words and walked out of the room. 

After assuring Annie that everything was now fine, Peeta went back to his apartment and put the CD in his own stereo. As the songs started he wondered if this would end up being a good or bad memory, but at least for now he had some hope. She said they could try to be friends, but he couldn’t get the thought out of his head that she had wanted to be more. He wondered if he would ever be able to get her back to that point, or if he would be destined to watch as she moved on with someone else. 

He had to try. It would take time, but he was determined to do whatever it took to earn back her trust and hopefully gain her love. At least he knew where to start— he gathered the ingredients and started mixing the dough so he could make fresh cheese buns for their walk to class tomorrow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter is Back to Good by Matchbox20, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X5Dr-uFVGw&index=3&list=PLpoTT1kKZPmy2PGjx222exE8mxHdKiyLY. 
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at Historywriter2007.


	4. Ants Marching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As they near the end of their Senior year Katniss and Peeta work to get internships. After a visit to Abernathy Advertising they get the jobs and meet each other's families for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today marks the 15th anniversary of the 9/11 Attacks. Today we honor the victims, families and the men and women who work every day to keep us safe. May we Never Forget. 
> 
> Sorry for the delay, change in jobs and other stuff got in the way. I hope to get a couple of chapters out in the next week, so stay tuned.

Take these chances

Place them in a box until a quieter time

Lights down, you up and die

Driving in on this highway

All these cars and upon the sidewalk

People in every direction

No words exchanged

No time to exchange

When all the little ants are marching

Red and black antennas waving

we all do it the same

we all do it the same way

Ants Marching, Dave Matthews Band

  
  


November 2000

 

Katniss sat on the opposite side of her couch from Peeta while she read through the job descriptions for internships in the city. It was Peeta’s idea, a way to get real experience and credit at the same time, but she knew that the competition for internships was fierce. People from all over the United States wanted to get an internship in New York, so she wasn’t just competing with her classmates, but everyone. Peeta, on the other hand, was extremely talented— she had seen a lot of his work.  He was able to bring any image to life, whether it was the meadow she told him about that was near her grandfather’s hunter cabin, or an idea for a logo they were creating for a marketing class. She looked over at Peeta, still unable to believe that his long, golden eyelashes didn’t scrape against the lenses of the glasses he sometimes wore on the weekends. She still remembered when she first saw him in them— it was as they were growing back together as friends and he answered the door early in the morning when Katniss was looking for Annie. Katniss never thought glasses could make someone look hot, but these did the trick, and she loved when he chose them over contacts, although it only ever happened when they were hanging out at home. 

 

It took a couple of months before she felt like she could totally forgive him, and she certainly made him work for it. Peeta questioned every move he made because the thought of losing Katniss made his stomach queasy.. Katniss was just as cautious. Even though she often wondered if he would be receptive to her if she hinted that she wanted more, she was determined to focus on school and getting an internship instead of romance.

They started off slowly, just walking to class together again, then they added lunches and studying to the mix. There were long talks about their lives where Katniss quickly realized that Peeta had it hard, even though he came from money. The stories he told of his strict mother, who was fine with using whatever form of punishment she wanted, made her sick. Images of a young Peeta being yelled at or hit for getting a B on a test made her protective instincts go into overdrive. When he shared that she had passed from cancer a few years back, Katniss couldn’t help but feel relieved. 

 

It was one of Katniss’s recurring nightmares that finally brought them back to a close friendship. Katniss had gone to bed early while Peeta, Finnick, and Annie finished watching a movie. The dream was one she’d had thousands of times since her father’s death. She replayed what they told her happened that day, could feel the heat from the flames that climbed the walls and smell the smoke that accompanied them. Katniss looked around the room, frantically searching for someone to help her before it was too late, but she knew what was coming next as the creaking of the steel beams grew louder as they gave way, causing everything to collapse around her. Her screams filled her room as she fought to get out of the pile and the nightmare. Suddenly she was engulfed in something soft, something that smelled like cinnamon, dill and something  _ male _ . She allowed herself to sink into the strong arms that surrounded her as she came back to reality before she finally realized it was Peeta who was comforting her. For the first time in a long time, she felt safe. 

 

The sound of the front door opening pulled Katniss’s attention from Peeta. She turned to see Finnick walking toward them. “Oh good,” he said, “you’re both here.” 

 

“By all means, Finnick, come on in,” Katniss answered, trying to sound annoyed even though none of them knocked anymore. 

 

“Oh, believe me, Everdeen, you’ll want to hear what I have to say. I think I found internships for both of you,” he said, sitting down between them.

 

“Okay, Finnick, you have our attention,” Peeta added, putting his sketchpad down.

 

“Well, today we had a meeting at work, and we won two new major accounts, so Haymitch wants to bring in a couple of interns— a graphic designer and someone to help manage the accounts. He doesn’t want to post it because he...and I quote ‘didn’t want to deal with all those dumbasses who think it’s cool to come to New York.’ So he asked if we knew anyone, and of course I thought of my two greatest friends. You interested?”

 

“Yeah, but that means we have to work with you, right?” Katniss punched back, trying to hold her excitement in. 

 

“Yes, princesses, fortunately for you I am older and got a great job just so I could drag you along. But I do know Haymitch, and I wouldn’t put it past him to hire his interns full-time if they do a good job, which I know you will.  Besides, I know you miss having me around now that I’ve moved out.” 

 

“Well, I’m in. What do I need to do?” Peeta interrupted before they could continue to bicker— he swore those two acted like brother and sister sometimes. 

 

“Just show up. I already set a time for both of you to come in to meet with Haymitch. Bring your portfolios and resumes and meet me in the lobby of the South Tower at 10 a.m.  See you then.”  He got up and walked away before they could answer.  

 

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing we were preparing for this,” Peeta said to a stunned Katniss. 

 

“Yeah, guess so. Since we’re so well prepared, how about a movie... what do you want to watch?” 

 

“Office Space?” Peeta said, smirking at Katniss.  She loved and hated that smirk because it showed the dimple in his cheek, and she swore it would make her do just about anything for him.  She shook her head at him and got up to put in the movie, making it a point to sit closer to him as they watched. 

 

Katniss paced Peeta’s kitchen as he put his portfolio in his messenger bag. She had barely slept last night, running a thousand questions through her head that they might ask her in the interview. She had never been to a real interview, just ones for the part-time jobs she had during high school. As they walked to the door Peeta took her hand and smiled at her, and instantly she felt her nerves calm, knowing they were going into this together.  

 

They made their way to the World Trade Center to meet Finnick. Katniss had never been in either of the towers because her father constantly worried about something else happening after the 1993 attacks, which he had responded to, so she had stayed away until now. True to his word, Finnick was in the lobby waiting to take them up to Abernathy Advertising. After checking in with the receptionist he took them to a large conference room that faced the North Tower. Katniss couldn’t resist looking out the windows, but she knew they were high up— 81 floors to be exact. 

 

“Peeta come here, you have to see this,” Katniss said while looking down at the world below. “Dave’s right, they do look like Ants Marching from this high up.” 

 

Peeta cautiously walked up to her, glancing quickly out the window. “Yeah, looks great.” 

 

Katniss turned to face him, raising an eyebrow as he returned to the table and busied himself looking at his portfolio. “Wait, are you afraid of heights?”

 

“No… well, maybe a little. I’m fine looking out, just not down.” 

 

Katniss started to respond but was stopped by a woman in a bright pink business suit entering the room teetering on high heels. She was followed by a man in his fifties whose his shirt was unbuttoned under a loosened tie, a sharp contrast to the woman’s buttoned-up appearance. “Welcome, welcome. I’m Effie Abernathy, and this is my husband Haymitch.  We are so happy to meet you! Finnick has told us ever so much about you both.” 

 

Peeta opened his mouth to speak,but Haymitch beat him to it. “Do you have any samples of your work?” 

 

Both of them passed their samples across the table for Haymitch and Effie to review.  Haymitch rubbed his hand over his 5 o'clock shadow and squinted his eyes as he reviewed the work before him. After a few moments, Haymitch spoke again. “Looks good to me. You start January 3rd. Mags will get you everything you need, and will work with your school on the paperwork.” 

 

“Haymitch, don’t you want to talk about this more?” Effie hissed under her breath. 

 

“What is there to talk about? Finnick likes them, and their samples are good. I don’t want to waste any more time. Besides, I have a good feeling about these two. They seem like fighters.” Haymitch walked out of the room, leaving the others stunned. 

 

“Well, I will introduce you to Mags. Welcome to Abernathy Advertising,” Effie said with a tight smile.  She motioned for them to follow her to the front of the office, where they were met again by the receptionist, who they now knew was Mags.  

 

After filling out some paperwork they left, still stunned by the turn of events. After getting to the sky lobby Peeta broke the silence, as he often did, “So, we’ve got some time... do you want to stop by my dad’s bakery and get lunch?”  

 

“Sure. I always wondered about this bakery of yours. Are his cheese buns as good as yours?” 

 

“Nope, I came up with the recipe, so I think mine are the best. I’m warning you, my older brother may be there.”

 

“Is your older brother bad?” Katniss asked. 

 

“No, just your typical older brother.” He was interrupted by the arrival of the express elevator, and he placed his hand on the small of her back, inviting her to enter ahead of him. She could feel the heat from his hand through her suit jacket. He seemed to notice what he had done and pulled his hand away, which caused her to instantly feel the loss.

 

When they arrived at the bakery it was relatively empty, since they were a bit early for the lunch rush. They were met by a man who looked like an older version of Peeta, and Katniss didn’t need to be told he was his dad. She smiled when she realized she knew exactly what Peeta would look like thirty years down the road. 

 

“Hi, Dad. Thought we would stop by to get some lunch before heading back to campus.” He looked bashful as he motioned for Katniss to come forward. “This is Katniss.” 

 

At the mention of her name, Peeta’s father perked up. “This is Katniss? It’s so nice to finally meet you. Peeta hasn’t stopped talking about you.” 

 

Katniss looked over at Peeta, whose face was now beet red at his father’s words.  She smiled back at Mr. Mellark. “He does talk a lot. It’s nice to meet you too.” 

 

Peeta’s father rushed them to a table in the corner before disappearing to get them lunch. “Sorry about that, he doesn’t always think before he speaks. Believe it or not, despite that he was an amazing lawyer before opening the bakery.” 

 

“It’s fine, Peeta, really we are best friends, so I would imagine you would have mentioned me to him before. But he didn’t always run the bakery?”

 

“No. He did what he was told by his mother, then mine. Went to Columbia, then got married to my mom while he was in law school  He worked at her father’s law firm until my mom died.  A lot of things changed with her death. My dad finally felt free to do what he wanted, which was start a bakery.  He had been really smart with his money, and is still technically a partner at the law firm, so he didn’t have to worry too much about the losses he took while building the business. Instead, he could just enjoy his passion.  He pushed all of us to do what made us happy as well. Bran is finishing law school in Boston this year— I think he still feels like he needed to make mom proud and take over that part of the family business. Rye is taking time to figure out what he wants to do, and you know what I am doing.” 

 

“The bakery seems to be doing well now, though.” 

 

“Yeah, he gets a lot of business delivering food for meetings at all of the local offices. He even has some accounts at the World Trade Center, so I am sure we’ll see him or my brother around.” 

 

“Well, if it isn’t my little brother,” Rye said while bringing their food to the table and then pulling Peeta into a bear hug. “And who is this beautiful lady?” 

 

“This is Katniss. Katniss, meet my older brother Rye.”

 

“Wait...this is _ the _ Katniss. She is a lot prettier than you told me.” Rye then turned his attention to Katniss, “So if you ever want to leave this guy and come over to the better looking, more fun brother, just let me know,” he said with a wink before ruffling Peeta’s hair and walking back to the counter. Katniss wanted to be annoyed by what Rye had said, especially since she didn’t know how she should react to how much Peeta talked about her to his father and brother. On the other hand, she liked that she saw the way he teased Peeta, she could tell they really did love each other. 

 

“Well, that was the middle brother. He thinks it’s his job to embarrass me every chance he gets,” Peeta said, rubbing the back of his neck. 

 

“I get it... I’m sure I’ve done things that embarrassed Prim growing up too. Tell you what, why don’t you come to my house next Friday. We always do a big thing getting the house ready for Christmas right after Thanksgiving, and you can meet everyone.” 

 

“I’d like that,” Peeta said, giving Katniss a smile that was genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness. An unexpected warmth rushed through her as she smiled back, forcing herself to return her attention to the soup and cheese buns in front of her. 

 

Two weeks later Peeta walked up to the front door of Katniss’s house in Queens. Music and laughter flowed through the door as he rang the bell.  A tall man with dark hair and gray eyes answered. He knew Katniss didn’t have an older brother, so maybe he was a cousin or something. “Hi, I’m Peeta. I’m friends with Katniss.” 

 

The man looked him up and down before answering. “I’ve heard of you. Just so you know, if you ever hurt her I will kill you. Come on in.”

 

Peeta stared at him for a moment before swallowing and walking into the house where the two men were quickly met by a blonde woman carrying a toddler who obviously knew what was going on. “Don’t mind my husband. He is harmless, I promise.  He thinks it’s his job to protect everyone, even though Katniss can take care of herself.” She turned to face her husband, giving him a scowl before returning her attention to Peeta. “I’m Madge. That’s Gale, and this is Posy.” The toddler looked at Peeta for a second before putting her head back on her mom’s shoulder.  “I think Katniss is in the kitchen,” she added as she pointed to the back of the family room. 

 

Peeta entered to find Katniss humming quietly to herself as she cut up vegetables for a tray. He stopped to admire her for a second. He loved when she sang— it was the most beautiful sound in the world. He walked up next to her and placed a box of cheese buns on the counter next to the tray. She looked at the cheese buns before looking up at him with a huge smile. “I’m glad you made it. Who let you in?”

 

“Gale. He already threatened me, so at least that is out of the way.” Katniss’s smile fell from her face as she looked back through the door where Gale was staring at the pair. When he saw her scowl he quickly looked away.  “Sorry, he thinks it’s his job to look after all of us because he was the oldest. His father was killed in the same fire as my dad, and he took the responsibility for all of us on his shoulders.”

 

“I get it... I just hope you don’t think I would ever hurt you again.” Peeta looked into her eyes, hoping he could convey how sincere he was.  If only she would give them a chance, he knew they could make it work. 

 

“I know.” She looked back before grabbing his hand. “Let’s introduce you to the rest of the crew.” 

 

A couple of hours later, Peeta had met Katniss’s sister and mom, Prim and Lily, as well Rory Hawthorne, who was dating Prim and was getting ready to follow in his father and brother’s footsteps by joining the FDNY. Peeta had been a hit with everyone, and even Gale started to warm up after seeing him help Posy paint her ornament. Finally, Gale lifted the little girl into the air so she could put the start on the top of the Christmas tree the rest of the crew had put together.  

 

As they straightened up, Peeta noticed Katniss was missing. He looked in the kitchen, where he found the light on the back porch was on. He walked out to find her sitting on a porch swing. He sat next to her, and she quickly leaned into him, allowing him to put his arm around her.  They sat quietly for a few moments before he broke the silence. “You doing alright?”

 

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just thinking. Have you ever felt like something bad is coming, but you have no idea exactly what?”

 

Peeta looked at her, but she seemed lost in a distant thought. “You think something bad is going to happen?” 

 

“I don’t know, but just now as everyone was finishing up, I got this feeling like it was the last time we were all going to be together. It’s weird I know, but the last time I felt like this was right before my dad died. Promise me you won’t leave too.” 

 

Peeta put his hand under her chin and gently moved her head so he could look her in the eyes. “Katniss, we don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I can promise you this, as long as you want me around I will be at every Christmas.” 

 

She looked deep into his eyes for a moment and gave him a slight smile. “Okay, I want you here for every Christmas.” He nodded back, the air around them charged with the implications of her words before she broke the spell. “We better get back in there, don’t want to miss Christmas Vacation. It’s my favorite.” For the second time tonight she took his hand as she led him back into the house, and she knew she wouldn’t be the first to let go. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song for this chapter is Ants Marching, I choose to put the version where they are live in Central Park. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXPOHCsgWFw&index=4&list=PLpoTT1kKZPmy2PGjx222exE8mxHdKiyLY
> 
> More information on the 9/11 attacks can be found here. http://www.history.com/topics/9-11-attacks


	5. Hey Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to papofglencoe for her wonderful Beta skills.

And you can trust me not to think  
And not to sleep around  
If you don't expect too much from me  
You might not be let down  
Cause all I really want is to be with you  
Feeling like I matter too  
If I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago  
I might be here with you

Tomorrow we can drive around this town  
And let the cops chase us around  
The past is gone but something might be found  
To take its place...hey jealousy

-Gin Blossoms

May 2001

Katniss and Peeta waited anxiously in the newly renovated conference room. Effie had taken the project on so they could “project the right image to the clients,” complete with a new mahogany table Haymitch hated and mumbled about every time he entered the room. Katniss and Peeta shared a look at his latest comment he’d made under his breath, “But that’s mahogany,” which sounded like something Effie had said when Haymitch hadn’t used a coaster for his coffee during the staff meeting that morning. 

He sat across from them and opened a folder. “So, your internships are over. Here are your final evaluations.” 

Peeta and Katniss took the papers he passed across the table, thanking him in the process. 

“Okay, so here’s the deal. I really liked both of you and want to offer you full-time jobs. But I wanted to make sure I talked to you about the dating policy.” 

Katniss looked at Peeta for a moment. He gave her a knowing smile as she opened her mouth to answer, “We aren’t dating, we’re just friends.” 

“Sure, keep telling yourselves that and you may even believe it one day. Effie and I were ‘just friends’ for a long time too. Anyway, just in case you star-crossed lovers ever decide you want to acknowledge what everyone already knows, here’s the deal. I don’t care and don’t want to see it, but if you break up one of you needs to quit. Fair enough?” In usual Haymitch fashion, he didn’t wait for a response before walking out of the room, once again leaving Katniss and Peeta speechless. 

The party was in full swing, as the last of the Abernathy crew showed up to Sae’s Bar to celebrate the news of Katniss and Peeta’s job offers. The office only had ten employees including Katniss and Peeta, but Effie and Haymitch couldn’t make it to happy hour. Mags, Brutus, and Chaff only stayed for a shot, but Enobaria, Johanna, and Finnick stayed to hang out. Soon after they arrived, Annie joined the celebration, and Gale and Madge even stayed in the city to attend, which meant the world to Katniss. Peeta didn’t miss how she lit up when they walked into the bar— he had learned just how close the three were over the last few months. They’d been friends before Katniss and Gale’s fathers were killed in the same fire and were inseparable all throughout high school. Katniss joked that she had spent her high school career as a third wheel, but she wouldn’t have changed any of it. He wondered if Katniss would’ve gotten through everything without them in her life. 

After their first round of real drinks arrived, Gale challenged Peeta to a game of pool, leaving Katniss, Madge, and Johanna at the table alone. Johanna was a few years older than them and had worked for the firm for the past couple years. She was taller than Katniss, with short brown hair and brown eyes. Even though she was dressed professionally during the day, she always seemed ready to party after work and was now wearing only a tank top and a skirt, obviously from stripping clothes off as she left the building.

As Madge and Johanna talked, Katniss stared at Peeta while he played pool with Gale. Peeta had lost the tie and had unbuttoned the top of his dark blue dress shirt, the one she loved because it made his eyes seem even bluer, if that was even possible. She noticed that he had also rolled the sleeves of his shirt up a bit, showing off his strong arms, and as he bent over to ready his shot his khaki pants showed off his perfect ass— and she wasn’t the only one who noticed. 

“Maybe you should go claim your man before they attack,” Johanna cut into Katniss’s thoughts. 

“What are you talking about, Johanna? He’s a big boy. He can fight off the wolves on his own,” Katniss shot back, hoping she didn’t sound as worried as she really was. She’d had her chance, and at some point she knew she would watch as another woman stole his heart and she would lose him forever. 

“I’m sure he can, but I’m also sure he? would like you to finally admit what we all know,” Johanna stated. 

“Yeah, and what’s that?” 

Madge cut in, “That you are in love with each other.” Katniss looked at her best friend in shock— she hadn’t told anyone about her feelings. “I know what you are thinking, Katniss, but I have been your best friend since we were kids. You’re more than a sister to me, and you think I can’t see it? You look at him like he is the sunrise, and he looks at you like you hung the moon. I know you’re afraid to let yourself feel like this, but you deserve it. Just like you pushed Gale and me to finally give in, I am going to push you. It’s time to put yourself first for once.” 

Katniss looked at Madge and Johanna, still in a state of shock. She had known Madge since they were children, and she knew her better than anyone, but she still wasn’t ready to admit her feelings, even if it was to them. 

Johanna’s face softened as she spoke to Katniss. “Look, I know that you had it rough growing up, but you can’t let that stop you from living.” She took a deep breath before continuing, “I never told you about my family. While I was at college, my parents and brother were killed in a fire in our home. I blamed myself for a while, then realized that they wouldn’t want that. So after graduation, I packed up my belongings and came to in New York. I vowed to live every day for them and be happy. Life’s too short not to take chances. So go and tell Foxface over there that boy is yours. And I know the perfect song just for this moment.” Johanna shot up from her seat and waltzed to the jukebox in the corner, leaving Katniss and Madge at the table. 

Katniss looked over to Peeta, who was in a conversation with a woman who did indeed look like a fox, from her red hair to pointy nose. They were right— she needed to at least see if she was too late. She looked at Madge, who gave her a smile and thumbs up, then she stood up and walked to the pool table to interrupt Peeta’s conversation. 

She tapped him on the shoulder. “Peeta, can I talk to you for a minute?” 

He looked at Katniss with wide eyes. “Yeah, of course.” He then looked back at to woman who was now glaring at Katniss. “Will you excuse me for a moment?” 

“Sure. I’ll be at the bar getting a drink.” She smiled at Peeta and gave Katniss a glare before sauntering away. 

Peeta had never seen the look Katniss had on her face, and it felt like his heart was going to pound out of his chest. He tried to act casual by leaning against the table and taking a sip of his beer, but he was completely unprepared for what Katniss did next.

She stepped up in between his legs while looking up to meet his eyes. “So she seemed nice.” 

“I guess, but she’s not really my type.” 

As the next song started, Katniss knew it was meant for her. She mumbled, “Dammit, Johanna,” under her breath. 

Peeta looked at her, confused for a moment, before he realized what song was playing, Hey Jealousy. He couldn’t help but say something about it. “So Johanna played this song for you? Are you jealous, Everdeen?” He had a smirk on his face and spoke with a teasing tone, but the look on Katniss’s face stopped him from saying anything else.

“Maybe. Am I too late?” She lowered her eyes as she asked, not wanting to see pity as he told her ‘yes.’ 

“Too late for what, Katniss? What exactly do you want?” he pleaded. 

“I want us.” She looked at him as his eyes lit up and a smile took over his face. 

“I want us too, and you could never be too late.” 

She leaned in closer to him, finally feeling confident in her next steps. “Right. So even if you were married with kids before I realized I wanted this chance, you would’ve still given me a shot?” 

He shook his head in reply. “It would never have gotten to that point. I know my charms would have won you over eventually.” Katniss glared at him, but he smiled and leaned in before he continued, “Besides, I don’t want any of that unless it’s with you.” He lightly touched his lips to hers for a moment before pulling back. “I think we have an audience.” 

Katniss looked over at the table where she’d left Madge and Johanna, who were now joined by Gale, Finnick, and Annie, and all of whom were staring right at them. “As much as I want to kiss you right now, I don’t really want it to be for an audience. You want to get out of here?” 

“Sounds good to me. I’ll go tell them we’re leaving, and you close up the tab.” She turned to the table and walked over to tell them they were leaving. As she approached, she was met with a round of smiles and “finallys” before Madge got up from the table. “We should get going too. Gale, will you go pay. Katniss and I’ll be outside.” 

Madge put her arm around Katniss and led her out of the bar before turning to face her. “Listen. I know you, and I know you’re worried that you’re going to mess this up, but I want you to promise me one thing—that you will fight for this. You deserve to be happy more than anyone I know, and Peeta seems like the type that will do anything to give you that happiness. Promise me you’ll allow it to happen.” 

Something in Madge’s plea made Katniss pause for a moment. After a second she nodded her head at her best friend, who smiled and pulled her into a hug as she continued. “Don’t forget Prim and I are co-Maid of Honors at the wedding... I almost count as a sister.” 

“Seriously Madge, I have no idea what is going to happen with Peeta. I haven’t even kissed him. And you are my sister, even it’s not by blood.” As they separated the guys came out of the bar, and after the last set of goodbyes, the couples headed home. 

There was a different energy between them as they entered Katniss’s apartment. Peeta had told her Finnick hinted he’d take Annie to his apartment, which would mean Katniss’s would be empty all night. They sat on the couch, facing each other as Katniss started to speak, “I don’t know know what I’m doing. I’m sure I’m going to mess all this up.” 

“Why do you think that?” Peeta asked, reaching out to take her hand. 

“Because I’ve never had a relationship that has lasted longer than a few months and because I focus on everything else, especially Prim. I don’t know how to put a relationship first.” She looked down as if she were ashamed. 

Peeta put his fingers under her chin, raising her head to face him. “Yes, you do. You put those you love ahead of yourself, but now you have someone who is willing to put you before everything else. You just have to allow it.” 

Katniss smiled at his words. She never had someone who was willing to put her first, and here Peeta was willing to give her everything that had been taken away from her. After her father’s death, her mother checked out and she took on raising Prim. Even though she had Gale and Madge, they were just starting to date, so she took a backseat to their budding relationship. She realized how much she needed what Peeta was willing to offer. “Okay, I’ll allow it.” 

With those words, Peeta moved his hand to the side of her face, gently caressing her cheek before moving his hands to her hair. She had left it down today— Peeta had told her many times how much he loved her hair down— and he smiled shyly before pulling her in for a kiss. Katniss quickly lost herself in the feel of his soft, warm lips on hers, but the feeling of his tongue brushing her lips, begging for entrance made her body shiver. No other kiss had ever made Katniss feel this way. It was as if she had found a missing piece of herself in Peeta. As they separated, Peeta rested his forehead against hers to catch their breath. She knew the only mistake she had made was waiting so long to admit what everyone else knew— they were meant to be together. 

Katniss pulled away, and for a second she could see fear in Peeta’s eyes. She wondered if he thought she was going to run again, but she took his hand and gave him a reassuring smile as she pulled him from the couch to lead him to her bedroom. She started pulling him to her bed, but he stopped her. 

“Katniss, we don’t have to do anything tonight. I’m happy with the fact we have at least admitted our feelings.”

“I know, but the way I look at it, we’ve been in the longest courtship ever, and it’s about time we do something about it.” She pulled him down to meet in a kiss. Unlike the first one, this one was less tentative and filled with hunger. She backed them up until they reached the bed, where she laid down and pulled him over her body. The feeling of him so near to her filled her with excitement. She often wondered what it would feel like to be close to him again, and now that he was she found it difficult to hold back. 

Peeta raised his hands to her shirt, meeting her eyes to silently ask permission. With a nod, she felt his fingers start to work through the buttons on her dress shirt, and after a few were released, she realized his hands were shaking. She put her hand over his to stop them for a moment, then took over where he’d left off. He helped her push her shirt off her shoulders. 

As he stared at her, she moved to cover up, suddenly feeling insecure about her slender body, but he pulled her arms away. “You are so beautiful, I can’t believe we’re actually here.” 

With his words, she relaxed again as she felt him kiss along her jaw, then slowly make his way to her chest. She couldn’t contain the small moan she made as he pulled her breast from her bra and started licking and sucking one, then the other. She never understood how some women loved this part of foreplay— it never did anything for her before until Peeta did it. Every motion and kiss felt so different to her, it was as if a part of her was finally alive. 

Katniss noticed she had on significantly less clothing than Peeta and felt the need to fix the situation, and quickly. She moved her fingers along the buttons of his shirt before pushing it off his broad shoulders, running her hands through the small amount of blonde hair covering his muscled chest before slowly moving to his belt. Pulling the belt from his pants, she took this moment to flip them over so she was on top, her hair creating a curtain to hide them from the world. 

It was her turn to place kisses all along his body, and as she moved lower she could feel his muscles tense then relax under her touch. He still couldn’t believe she was here with him, but it was better than he could’ve ever imagined. She unbuttoned his pants and started to pull at them, encouraging him to lift his hips to help her get them off. He let out a strangled moan as her small hand pulled him from his black boxer briefs. She moved lower, and before he could say anything she wrapped her lips around his cock. He released a shuddering breath as he felt her take as much of him as she could into her hot, wet mouth, sure that he was in heaven. He moved her hair out of the way to watch, and it didn’t take long for him to feel the tightening in his stomach that meant he was close. He tried to pull her off of him, but instead she sucked harder as he pulsed and came into her mouth. 

Katniss gave him a satisfying smile before climbing back up his body to meet him in a hungry kiss. He used an old wrestling move to flip them back over. “Now it’s my turn,” he said with a grin, working his way back down her stomach and pulling her skirt and panties down in one quick movement. He placed his face at her entrance, taking in her smell as he dropped kisses along the inside of her thighs. When she bucked slightly, he knew she was done with the teasing and complied by gliding his tongue along her slit before swirling it around her clit. Her moans of pleasure filled the room as Peeta continued to lick and nip, before he slipped two fingers into her, moving them in and out, pushing her closer to the edge. With a final shout he felt her clench around his fingers, working her until her climax was complete. 

He laid next to her before Katniss climbed on top of him again. “Katniss, we don’t have to do anything else tonight if you don’t want to.” 

“But I do want to, it just feels right.” She started grinding along his cock, which quickly hardened as she moved above him. She aligned him to her opening, but he stopped her. “Wait, don’t we need a condom?” 

“I’m on the pill, and unless you have been with anyone since we all got tested a few months ago, we’re safe.” 

Peeta had forgotten about the group going to get tested. It was during a drunken game of Never Have I Ever, where Finnick was the only one to drink to Annie’s statement on not sleeping with more than three people. Peeta thanked his lucky stars that he hadn’t slept with Clove, especially when he noticed Katniss staring at him, waiting for him to drink. The game was effectively over at this point, as Annie insisted she know just how many women Finnick had been with before they got together. She was shocked at the number and demanded they get tested, but the next day she was really nervous, so all of them went. Even though he wasn’t worried, he had always used protection, Peeta still remembered when he got the call telling him the results. Katniss had been hanging out with him at the time— her call giving her a clean bill came minutes later. 

He looked her in the eyes, even though she knew the answer he gave to her. “I haven’t been with anyone since I met you. I’d hoped we would get here one day, and I didn’t want to mess it up any more than I already had.” 

That was all she needed to know as she sank onto him. She stopped moving for a second— it had been a while, and she had to get used to his size. When she started moving again, Peeta fought the orgasm that was quickly mounting. “Holy shit, just wait a second.” She stopped moving and gave him a questioning look. “I’ve never had sex without a condom, and you feel too good.” 

“Me neither, but it’s okay. We have all night to do it again.” With that, she started again, Peeta gripping her hips as she moved. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer, so he placed his hand to where they were joined and started circling her bundle of nerves, feeling her clenching around him just before he finished. He was more satisfied that he was able to get her there before coming. 

They were both catching their breath as he laid next to her, and she quickly moved to his shoulder while he placed his arm around her. Katniss pulled away a bit so she could face Peeta. “I never felt this good... after.”

“Me neither.” Peeta lifted his hand to caress her cheek. “Katniss, I’ve never felt like this about anyone before.” He fought to hold back the next words— it was too cliche to say them now. Instead, he looks into her eyes, hoping he could convey his feelings to her silently. She smiled back before placing her head back on his chest as they drifted off into a dreamless sleep, wrapped around each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is Hey Jealousy by Gin Blossoms, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ah5gAkna3jI


	6. New York, New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta asks Katniss an important question before leaving for work on 9/11, a day that would their change their lives forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to all of you who continue to read the updates, your kudos and comments mean the world to me. Special thanks to my amazing beta papofglencoe for all her help. Please be sure to heed all warnings and triggers.

Babe, I stood there singing, I was holding your arm  
You were holding my trust like a child  
Found a lot of trouble out on Avenue-B  
But I tried to keep the overhead low  
Farewell to the city and the love of my life  
At least we left before we had to go

And love won't play any games with you  
Anymore if you don't want 'em to  
So we better shake this old thing out the door  
I'll always be thinkin' of you  
I'll always love you though New York

Ryan Adams- New York, New York

The light started to creep through the open window as Katniss woke up. She turned her head to find Peeta still sleeping soundly beside her. One hand rested on his bare stomach, the other rested above his head. She gently brushed his tousled hair from his forehead, but the movement was enough to wake him. 

His blue eyes met hers, and he smiled, “Good morning beautiful.” His voice was rough from sleep, and it sent electric shocks through her body. 

She was used to waking up next to him now, especially after he moved into his new apartment near the World Trade Center after graduation. She reasoned that it was easier to get to work, since it was much closer than the one she and Annie had moved to, even though they were only a few blocks east. Unfortunately, she needed to figure out what she was going to do now that Annie was moving in with Finnick this December in advance of their wedding. Annie offered to pay all of the charges to break the lease, since she knew Katniss wouldn't be able to live there alone and there was no way she would move in with a stranger. She had a hard enough time opening up to her friends, the thought of sharing a space with someone she didn’t know made her physically il, so now Katniss was back looking for a place to live again. 

“Morning,” she answered back with a smile. “I thought you were going to go for a run this morning.” 

“I was, but when I woke up I realized I had a beautiful brunette in my bed and thought it would be a sin to leave her all alone.” He rolled onto his side and leaned in to kiss her. Even after months of being together, each kiss and touch lit a fire inside Katniss that she couldn’t contain. Peeta’s hand moved to the bottom of her nightgown, and he groaned when he found she’d never put her underwear back on after they made love the night before. He started rubbing circles on her clit. Within minutes she was ready for him, and he pulled his boxer briefs off and slid into her, relishing in the noises she made as he filled her. They rocked together in a dance they had perfected over the past several months— Peeta still couldn’t believe how in sync they were, and not just in bed. He now knew what it meant to find your soulmate because he was sure he had found his. 

Katniss almost enjoyed the time after making love more than the actual act. She laid her head on his chest as they held each other before Katniss’s phone rang. She sighed and reached over Peeta to get it from the nightstand. “It’s Madge.”

Peeta nodded, knowing Madge would often call on her way into the office. It was the only time she got to herself between work, Posy, and Gale. “Okay, I’m going to get in the shower and start the coffee. Don’t forget we need to be at work by 8:30 for your meeting.” Katniss watched Peeta disappear into the adjacent bathroom before answering the phone. 

“Hi, Madge, what’s up?” As she started talking, Katniss went to close the open bedroom window and stared for a moment at the World Trade Centers. Even though she worked in them, she still thought they were beautiful, especially as the sun started to rise and the light glinted off the glass. 

“I’m just heading into the city now— my boss's wife went into labor, and he asked me to cover a meeting for him at the Windows on the World, so I will be in the towers today. Do you think you will be able to get away for lunch?” 

Katniss swelled with pride for her friend. Even though Gale and Madge were two years older than Katniss, Madge had just finished her degree. Posy had not been planned, and Madge had to drop out of school when she was born. Luckily Gale was through the fire academy and had a job. She’d found a job at the office she was still with and had worked her way up as she finished school. It wasn’t easy, but Madge was now one of the top employees for the financial firm. 

“Yeah, I think so. I have an early morning meeting, but that should be done by 11. Just give me a call when you are done, and we’ll figure out where to meet.” 

“Sounds good... see you later. Tell Peeta I said ‘hi,’” Madge said in a sing-song voice. 

Before Katniss could answer, her friend hung up the phone. She looked at her phone and noticed that she really needed to get moving. 

At 7:45 on the dot, Katniss raced from the bedroom— Peeta just stood in the kitchen, holding her coffee cup and breakfast. She chuckled as she took it from his hands, but he stopped her before they could walk out of the apartment. “There is something I’ve been meaning to ask you.” Peeta took a deep breath before continuing, “Why don’t you move in?” 

“I don’t know Peeta... I mean don’t you think this may be too soon?” 

“No, in your words we had the longest courtship ever. Besides, just think about all the good that can come from living with me. I can wake you up like I did this morning, and I prepare breakfast and coffee, not to mention all the cheese buns you can eat. Oh, and the extra bonus— I have more money in my trust fund than I know what to do with, so you can save money to help Prim finish medical school.” 

Peeta knew her too well— Prim was always the most important, but she did like the idea of waking up next to him every morning. She loved the way his hair fell in waves over his forehead before he gelled it into place every day and how safe she always felt in his arms, but she just wasn’t ready to say yes quite yet. “I really like that idea— I do— but can I think about it a bit more? We’ll talk after work. Deal?” 

He smiled at her and gave her a kiss. “Deal. Now let’s get to work.” 

As they walked, Katniss noticed how there wasn’t a cloud in the bright blue sky— Peeta’s eyes were the same exact color. She stopped herself twice from telling Peeta she would move in after all, instead holding it back. It was like an invisible force wouldn’t let her say the words to him. As they got to the office she kissed him quickly and headed to her desk. 

Katniss entered the conference room, where Johanna was already setting up for the client meeting. “Good Morning, Johanna,” Katniss belted out. Johanna stopped what she was doing and looked at her like she had grown a second head. “Who are you, and what have you done to Katniss?” 

“What do you mean?” Katniss asked, feeling the heat fill her cheeks. If anyone could see right through Katniss, it was Johanna. 

“Well, you have a huge smile on your face, you were the first to say good morning, and you are not normally a morning person... so what’s up?” 

Katniss knew she was caught and that there would be no way Johanna would let it go, so she told her the news. “Peeta asked me to move in this morning.” 

“And you said yes, right?” 

Katniss put her head down before she answered. “I told him I would think about it.”

“You really are brainless, aren’t you? Katniss, you and I know better than anyone tomorrow is not guaranteed. You need to march right to his desk and tell him—” 

A loud noise caught their attention before Johanna could finish her sentence. They both looked out the window in time to see a huge fireball rip through Tower One. Out of instinct they threw themselves to the ground. After a few seconds, they stood and looked out the window to see smoke flowing from a gigantic hole in the building. They couldn’t believe what they were seeing, fear filled Katniss as she struggled to take deep breaths. Thoughts flooded her head as her eyes meet Johanna’s, she could tell she was thinking the same thing. What could’ve caused this? 

Peeta was the first to rush into the room, immediately grabbing Katniss and pulling into a hug, asking if she was okay. Moments later nine of the ten employees of Abernathy Advertising were gathered in the conference room— Effie had not made it to work yet. Most of them were looking out the window, watching paper and other items that should have been at someone's desk now were flowing from the hole on the other side of the tower. They stared in silence, everyone too afraid to acknowledge what they were thinking even though it was the same, how many were lost? People who were working at their desks, just like they were moments before, who now will never go home. 

Haymitch stood before the group and started talking. “Listen up, my old drinking buddy works upstairs, and he always said to get out of the buildings if anything ever happened. I don’t care what you hear— I want you to all get out of here and fast. Don’t worry about the work, just go.” 

Johanna spoke up before anyone could leave. “Should we set a place to meet?” 

“That’s a good idea. Any suggestions?” Haymitch said, even though he seemed in a hurry to go. 

“My dad has a bakery a few blocks north. It’s called Mellark’s,” Peeta offered. 

“Great idea. Mellark’s it is. Now get the hell out of here.” 

Katniss walked up to Haymitch before they left, he had grown into a father figure for her and she needed to hear him say they would be alright, “Any last minute suggestions?”

Haymitch placed his hand on her shoulder trying to give her some reassurance through his own fear, “Yeah, stay alive.” 

Katniss looked into his eyes, and nodded before Peeta took her hand and led her from the room with Johanna and Finnick. After stopping by Katniss and Johanna’s desks to get their purses, the group headed to the elevator bay to start their journey down to the lobby. They arrived at the elevators just in time to see the rest of their co-workers get into a crowded elevator to the sky lobby— it would take two sets of elevators to get them to the ground floor and away from the building. 

Peeta looked at Katniss for a moment before speaking, “When the next one comes, if there's room I want you and Johanna to get on it.” 

“No. I think we should stick together. I’m not leaving you,” Katniss demanded.

“Please, Katniss, just get on it. It will be easier if we’re trying to get a couple of us on at a time. I’ll meet you in the sky lobby.” Katniss heard the desperation in Peeta’s pleas. She thought back to when they first admitted their feelings and he told her that she needed to let someone put her first for a change. She knew he was doing that now, but she was afraid something bad would happen if they were separated. 

Before she could say anything else a ding signaled the elevators arrival and Johanna was pulling her into the cramped space. She stood staring at Peeta as the doors closed, at the last moment she heard him say “I love you,” but her reply ended up being to the mirrored doors. 

It felt like an eternity, but in reality, it was just a matter of minutes before the doors opened again to the crowded sky lobby. Katniss and Johanna stepped off the elevator and looked around— there were a couple hundred people waiting for the express elevators that took minutes to get to the ground floor. Johanna spotted the rest of their co-workers across the room. She wanted to go toward them, but Katniss wouldn’t budge from the elevators they just got off of. She wasn’t going to leave this floor without Peeta, even though she worried it would take too long to get an elevator down. 

Katniss finally spoke up, “Johanna, this is going to take forever. Maybe we should walk down a few floors and try to get to the other sky lobby.” 

“That’s actually a good idea. Have you seen the guys yet?” Johanna asked. 

“No, do you think we should call them?” 

“Phones aren’t working that well, and if they are in the elevator the call won’t go through. I’ll try to text Finnick,” Johanna offered. 

Johanna pulled her flip phone from her purse and started typing out a message. Within seconds she got a reply. “He said they are in the stairwell already and to meet them there.” Johanna looked around the room again to get her bearings. “Stairwell A is the one by our office. It’s over here.” She pulled Katniss from the crowd toward the stairs, but Katniss stopped when she saw Mags sitting by the wall. 

“Mags, why are you over here?” Katniss asked. 

“I didn’t want to stand anymore. I’ll get in line when more people clear out.” 

Johanna stepped in, “We’re going to walk down a few floors and get another elevator. Why don’t you come with us?”

“No, dear, that’s okay. It’s hard for me walking down all those stairs, and I don’t want to slow you down. You both go ahead.” She smiled at them and turned her attention back to the crowded room. Katniss and Johanna knew it was futile to talk Mags out of anything, so they continued their way to the stairs. 

They had to fight through a stream of people trying to get into the sky lobby from the stairwell, and when they finally cleared the door they stood by the door, waiting for Peeta and Finnick to meet them. When Katniss finally saw Peeta she sighed with relief; there was no way she was going to let them get separated again. She felt like they had been apart for hours, she reasoned it was because of the adrenaline and the event they had witnessed, but all she wanted to do was touch him in some way to prove he was really there. Peeta was just a few feet away when a roaring noise and a rush of heat hit Katniss, and then everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song for this chapter is New York, New York by Ryan Adams. Although it was released after the attacks it was viewed as a love song to New York, in fact the video was filmed with the WTC in the background just days before.   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmHgY_J63Ik&index=7&list=PLpoTT1kKZPmy2PGjx222exE8mxHdKiyLY
> 
> Everyone remembers where they were when America was Attacked, it is the defining event of my generation, similar to Pearl Harbor for our Grandparents and the Kennedy Assassination for our parents. As for the events of the day, there is a lot of new information and documentaries in honor of the 15th anniversary. History Channel had some of the best, including 102 minutes That Changed America and 15 Septembers Later. You can find more information on the attacks here. http://www.history.com/topics/9-11-attacks


	7. Overcome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was very hard for me to write, I wanted to get it as close as I could out of respect to those who were affected by the attacks of 9/11. I was not there and any mistakes are not deliberate. A huge thank you to my beta papofglencoe who helped me a lot with this chapter. 
> 
> The song for this chapter is Overcome by Live, the song- as well as those for the next three chapters- were a few that played on a loop on MTV and VH1 after they were evacuated along with many others. I tried to find the video that played that day, but it does not seem to be available, however, this version is close. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfaZvAsFwzI.

Even now the world is bleedin' 

But feelin' just fine all numb 

In our castle where we're always free 

To choose never free enough 

To find I wish somethin' would break 

Cause we're runnin' out of time

  
  


And I am overcome 

I am overcome 

Holy water in my lungs 

I am overcome

  
  


Live- Overcome

  
  


9/11/2001- 9:05 am: Katniss started to regain her senses one by one. The first to return was smell, even though it was hard to breathe because of the overwhelming odor of smoke and fuel— _ why am I smelling fuel _ ? Next was her hearing— she could hear the sirens going off, but everything was muffled and her ears were ringing—  _ is someone saying my name _ ? She could feel someone lift her up, they started touching her head and feeling all around her body, like they were looking for something. She was commanding her eyes to open, but they felt heavy, and after what seemed like an eternity of fighting she could finally move them. Everything was fuzzy, and there were quick flashes of light. The first sight she could focus on was a pair of bright blue eyes filled with worry and unshed tears. 

  
  


“You’re awake. Oh thank God, Katniss, are you okay? Are you hurt? Can you move?” Peeta pulled her to him but didn’t hold her too tight, like he was afraid he’d hurt her. She tried moving her legs and arms— everything seemed to be working— but her head hurt. She reached up and found a large bump and blood trickling down from her temple. 

  
  


Katniss nodded her head, and Peeta put his arms around her to lift her. His arms wrapped around her back, holding her steady. The stairwell was mainly intact, but several walls were cracked and ceiling tiles had fallen, which allowed wires to hang loose. It was darker than before, with only emergency lights to lead the way. 

 

“What the hell happened?” she gasped. 

 

“I don’t know. Someone upstairs said a plane hit the other tower— I don’t know if that’s what happened here too. When the explosion happened, you lost your balance and hit your head on the corner of the stairs. I was so scared that I’d lost you.” Peeta pulled her into a hug, burying his face in her neck. 

 

“I’m okay,” she whispered back. She pulled back slightly to look for their friends. “Where’s Jo and Finnick?” 

 

“They went to the sky lobby to see what happened.” Just as Peeta finished his words the door flung open. Finnick was carrying a badly burned Mags on his back, with Johanna close behind. They could see the flames through the door, but it seemed eerily quiet behind them. 

 

“We gotta get her out of here.” Finnick was out of breath, no doubt from the effort of carrying her, but the smoke and fuel smell didn’t help.

 

“What’s going on in there?” Peeta asked as he looked through the doorway. 

 

Johanna looked shell-shocked as Finnick answered. “It’s gone. The whole place is destroyed. There were bodies, and we could hear people, but Mags was the only one we could get to.” 

 

They all looked at each other before Peeta snapped into action. “Let’s get out of here. Katniss, are you okay to walk?” 

 

“Yeah.” Peeta grabbed her hand and took the lead down the stairs, followed by Katniss, Finnick with Mags, and Johanna. 

 

The sound of the sirens deafened them as they prepared to make their way down over seventy stories of stairs. They never caught up with the flood of the thousands of other workers who should’ve been fleeing from the damaged building, and they didn’t have many behind them either. Katniss hoped this meant most of those from the higher floors already evacuated, although she feared she was wrong. 

  
  


The minutes seemed like hours as they descended the stairs. Peeta never let go of Katniss’s hand, looking back every few minutes to check on her, as if he was making sure she was still there. Around the 45th floor, they heard people coming toward them— that was when Katniss noticed the firemen climbing up the stairs, toward the fire. A few stopped to ask if they wanted help with Mags, but Finnick insisted he was okay carrying her, so they continued on. They nodded and let them know that a service elevator on the 40th floor was working and would help them get Mags out of the building quicker, so that became their new plan. 

  
  


Katniss tried looking at all the firemen’s faces, wondering if she would see Gale or Rory Hawthorne, but she didn’t. Katniss did notice one thing about the firefighters— they all had the same look, a mixture of fear and determination. It was a look her father had told her about— he said that firemen know when the situation is dire, but it’s their job to get as many to safety as possible. They were rushing straight into hell to rescue anyone they could. She couldn’t stop the next thought from entering her head—  _ would any of these men make it home tonight _ ? They had no idea how bad it would be the higher they got, or what dangers lay ahead. 

 

A fireman at the service elevator went down with them to the lobby and gave Finnick directions on where to go once they got there to get Mags to safety. She hung on the whole way down, even joking about it being years since she’d had a piggyback ride. They had just reached the lobby when a loud bang startled Katniss, and she looked toward one of the police officers, who was guiding people from the building, but he was looking down as if in silent prayer. 

 

The banging continued as they headed for the doors, and another policeman walked up to give them more instructions. “Take her over there. Medics will be able to take her.” He motioned to Mags and an area on a nearby street. “Get out of here as fast as you can. There is a lot of debris falling.” 

 

Katniss looked at Peeta. “That must be the banging we’re hearing.” The police officer’s face was as solemn as his words, “No, that’s people.” He then walked away, headed to another group to give them the same instructions. Katniss couldn’t believe what she’d just heard, that people were jumping. How bad was it up there? 

 

Peeta tightened his grasp on Katniss’s hand, “We need to get to safety so you can call Prim I’m sure she’s worried about you.” Katniss looked up at him and they stepped out of the building. 

 

It looked like a moonscape out on the street. There was dust and debris everywhere, and even parts of a plane were strewn around the street. It was odd to Katniss that she still saw papers floating around, just like when the first plane hit. Even stranger the music still played from the speakers in the plaza, just as it would on any other day. 

 

“We’ll take her to the medics. You guys head to the bakery,” Finnick stated as they walked away.

 

9:59 am: Peeta and Katniss started a brisk walk away from the towers. They were only a few blocks away when they heard it, a low and then rumbling sound that gradually got louder and louder. The ground started to shake, and when they looked back toward the tower, it disappeared behind the other buildings. Everyone around began to run as a gray cloud roared towards them. Katniss was frozen for a moment until Peeta pulled on her, forcing her to run with him. A door opened in front of them, and they ducked into the store, the people holding the doors slamming them back shut just as the gray cloud took over the street, enveloping everything it touched.

 

As the cloud dissipated, the realization hit— one of the towers collapsed. People around them were crying, while others were stunned silent. Peeta’s arms wrapped her in a protective hug, giving her refuge from reality for just a moment. 

 

After waiting for several minutes, Peeta spoke up. “We should get moving and head to the bakery. I’m sure the others are waiting for us.” Peeta sounded like he was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince Katniss. “Take off your jacket and put it over your nose and mouth. We have no idea what’s in that dust.” 

 

Peeta took her hand again as they headed into the dust-covered street. It didn’t take long for the dust to cling to all of their clothes— her once-black shoes were now covered in the gray dust that climbed up her black pants. Peeta’s light gray pants didn’t fare any better and were now covered to his knees. As they left the area immediately surrounding the towers, Katniss noticed that the air started to get cleaner, and less dust covered the ground. More people were standing in the streets, looking back toward the now solitary tower, many of whom had tears streaming down their faces or were covering their shock-filled faces with their hands. 

  
  


Peeta pulled his jacket down, and Katniss followed suit. Everything around them was clean, except for the others who were close to the tower when it fell. Katniss still didn’t have the courage to look back to see which one was left standing. At this point she was sure she had lost co-workers—if it weren’t for Peeta pulling her forward, she would have collapsed in grief. She had no idea if Madge was still in the restaurant when the plane hit, nor if Gale or Rory were inside. Her family was small— and after her father’s death was even smaller— and she had no idea what was left of the family they had made. 

 

The bakery still had power, and a few people were huddled in the corner watching the events on TV. Peeta’s father, Will, saw them first and ran to them, enveloping both in a hug, muttering how happy he was they were okay. As soon as he pulled away Rye pulled Peeta into a hug, and for the second time today Katniss saw tears in his eyes. They didn’t realize Peeta’s father had left until he returned with bottles of water and a small first aid kit. Katniss looked up at the TV and saw pictures of a different building on fire. “What’s going on?” 

 

Rye looked back to see what she was talking about before answering, “A plane hit the Pentagon too. everyone is saying it’s terrorism now.” 

 

Peeta’s father spoke up, “Why don’t you go upstairs and get cleaned up— especially that cut. God knows what was in that dust you just walked through.” Katniss had forgotten about the cut on her forehead, having been so focused on getting out of the building that her head didn’t even hurt anymore.

 

Peeta took the bottles and first aid kit and led Katniss upstairs to the living area.  Although no one lived there it was set up better than some apartments Katniss had looked at recently. There was a small kitchen, a living room with a fold out couch, and bathroom. Peeta had told her that his father set it up in case one of the boys ever needed a place to stay or if he was too tired to go home during the busy seasons. Peeta had her sit on the closed toilet seat as he searched the small bathroom for towels, alcohol, and cotton. She watched as he removed his dust-covered dress shirt, leaving him in a white undershirt, before attending to her. 

 

“I didn’t want anything else getting into the cut,” he mentioned as she watched him throw the shirt into the garbage can near the sink. She nodded and looked at her own shirt, which was covered in dust and blood from where she must have tried to wipe it away during their escape. “I have a shirt for you to wear if you want. Dad just ordered some new ones for the bakery, and he got a few for you.” 

 

“Why?” Katniss couldn’t think of why Peeta’s dad would have ordered her any shirts— she was the furthest thing from a baker.

 

Peeta started to unbutton her shirt, leaving her in her tank top, tending after her as if she were an injured child. “He said you are a part of the family now, and he thought you should have some gear to go with it. I think he secretly was hoping I would drag you along during Christmastime to help out.” 

 

Peeta raised a cotton ball drenched in alcohol to her cut, effectively cutting off any reply she might have made. As she flinched away he said, “Sorry. I know that doesn’t feel good, but I want to get it cleaned up. It doesn’t look that deep, but maybe we should have someone take a look at it.”

 

“No, I can have mom look at it later. I should try to call her or Prim... let them know we’re okay.” 

 

“You can use the phone here. May be easier than a cell phone.” Peeta’s large, calloused hands were extremely gentle as he applied ointment to the cut and placed a bandage on it. His hand moved to cup her face, and his thumb caressed her cheek as he looked deep into her eyes. It was the first time since this morning that they could really look at each other instead of worrying about surviving. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if something had happened to you. You’re my everything.” 

 

Katniss didn’t know what to say— she never did— especially when he talked like this. Of course she felt the same, but she was never any good with words, so she did what she knew, pulling him down to meet her lips in a kiss. It wasn’t like their kisses earlier in the day, filled with lust and want, but rather it was tentative and sweet, almost like she was kissing him for the first time. 

 

A knock at the door forced them to separate, but Peeta held her in place, leaning his forehead against hers. They heard Rye through the door, “There’s an Annie downstairs. She said she was told to meet here.” 

 

Peeta pulled away from Katniss to answer, “Yeah, we’ll be down in a minute. Hey, where did dad put the new shirts?”

 

“They are in the cabinet in the main room. I’ll put some on the couch.” 

 

As they heard his steps move away from the door, Katniss started to feel weird. Her face felt like it was on fire, and her stomach started flipping. Peeta could see the change in her immediately, putting his hands on both sides of her face. “You okay? What’s going on?” 

 

“Yeah, just a bit dizzy.” Katniss barely got the words out of her mouth before she turned, flipped up the toilet seat, and retched up what was left in her stomach. She suddenly felt cold and clammy as she fought to take deep breaths. Peeta’s hand rubbed circles on her back until she finally collapsed against him. “Sorry.. I don’t know...” 

  
  


“Hey, don’t worry about it. You’ve been through a lot. You might have a concussion— you hit your head hard.” As her breathing regulated, she moved to stand with Peeta's help. He pulled a small bottle of mouthwash from the cabinet and handed it to her. “I’ll go get you a shirt. I’ll be right back, okay?” 

 

Katniss nodded and started to clean herself. After she put the black Mellark’s shirt on they headed downstairs to find Finnick and Johanna walking through the doorway of the bakery. They had more dust on them than Katniss and Peeta but were unharmed. Annie ran to him, screaming his name and flinging herself into his arms with such force Katniss thought they would both topple to the ground. He held onto her, tears coming down his stained face before their lips met in a kiss.  Anyone paying attention could see how in love they were. Peeta’s arms came up around Katniss from behind, enveloping her in a hug as they watched the scene in front of them. 

 

After Finnick and Annie separated, Rye offered the bathroom to anyone who wanted to get cleaned up. Suddenly, gasps from the news reporters grabbed their attention. All of them stood silently as they watched the second tower crumble to the ground. All that could be heard were the shallow breaths of everyone in the room— it was as if all the air was gone and no one could really breathe. They were just in those buildings now those buildings were gone. Katniss could feel Peeta’s heartbeat against her back, then she heard whisper the words she was thinking, “this can’t be real.” She put her hand over his as they both tried to come to terms with what they were seeing. 

 

Katniss wasn’t sure how long they stood there watching the empty skyline and the smoke billowing from the site before she realized she needed to call Prim to let her know she wasn’t in the buildings. She jumped to the phone behind the counter and frantically dialed the number to Prim’s dorm. Her roommate answered, “It’s Katniss. Is Prim there?” 

 

“Thank God you’re alright. Prim’s been so worried. No, she left about 45 minutes ago, saying she needed to get home.” 

  
  


“If she calls, can you tell her Peeta and I are alright and will head to mom’s house as soon as we can? 

 

“I’ll let her know. And, Katniss... be careful.”

 

Katniss hung up the phone and walked back to the group as Finnick’s phone started ringing, but it stopped before he could answer. He hit redial but only got a message that all circuits were busy. Peeta took the phone and dialed the number, he recognized as Effie’s, into bakery phone. 

 

Everyone watched as he got a hold of her. “Effie, it’s Peeta.” 

 

“Peeta. Where’s Haymitch? Please tell me you know where he is?” She was in a completely frantic state as she pleaded with him to give her answers he didn’t have. 

 

“I don’t know. He had us all leave. We’re at the bakery waiting for the rest of the staff.” There was silence before Peeta spoke again. “You know Haymitch... he’s too smart and stubborn to die. He’ll be alright.” 

 

“Right. Well, when he shows up, have him call me right away. We’re waiting for him.” Just as Peeta started his reply the ding of the front doors signaled another new arrival. This time it was Haymitch. “Effie, you’re never going to believe this, but Haymitch just walked in.” 

 

Haymitch looked like the rest of them, covered head to toe in gray dust. Peeta told him Effie was on the phone and handed it over. They all tried to give him privacy as they spoke, but they could guess some of what was being said. He told her he was going to start his way home and hung up. He then turned to what was left of his office. 

 

“Where’s everyone else?” His question was simple, but the answer was anything but. 

 

Johanna, who was now the most senior employee, answered. “Mags is on her way to a hospital. She was in the sky lobby and was burned. The others were also in the sky lobby. We didn’t see them though.” 

 

Haymitch let her words sink in before asking his follow up. “Where were you all then?” 

 

Peeta answered for the group. “The stairwell. We thought it was better to walk down.” 

 

Haymitch put his hand on Peeta’s shoulder and nodded. The group was silent as they all turned their focus back to the television in the corner to see the announcement that all of Lower Manhattan was to be evacuated. Haymitch spoke first. “Alright, everyone get home or somewhere safe. We’ll figure everything out in a few days.” 

 

The group all talked about where they were going to be, since everyone besides Haymitch and Mr. Mellark lived in Manhattan. Annie, Finnick, and Johanna planned to get to Annie’s parents’ place in New Jersey, while Katniss and Peeta were going to make their way to her mother’s house in Queens. Rye and Mr. Mellark packed up all the food to take to the first responders before going to the house Peeta grew up in. Now they needed to join the hundreds of thousands of people fleeing the damaged island. The news also informed them that there was no subway service and that car traffic wasn’t allowed, they had two choices— to walk across one of the bridges or try to catch a boat— so Katniss and Peeta headed for the Brooklyn Bridge.  

 

It took almost an hour to cross with the amount of people who made the bridge their escape. No one pushed, or panicked, strangers helped each other in any way they could. Katniss looked towards the river, hundreds of boats of all types and sizes speed to and from the docks, ferrying thousands of people who were south of the towers. White sheets with spray painted location names pointed people to boats that would get them close to where they wanted to go. 

 

After they reached Brooklyn they got their first real look at the destruction. Thick, black smoke billowed from the site where the towers once stood. Katniss had forgotten that the day had started with blue skies and sunshine— now there was only gray. Peeta wrapped an arm around her waist, and she leaned into him. They didn’t need to say what they were thinking, they both knew.  

  
They were the lucky ones. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a wonderful video about the boatlift mentioned, it was the largest water evacuation since Dunkirk before World War II. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDOrzF7B2Kg
> 
>  
> 
> There was a lot of confusion during the attacks, this link not only goes over the timeline, but gives some of the reports that were later found to be not true. Below is the actual timeline of the events that are covered in this chapter. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_for_the_day_of_the_September_11_attacks. If you have not seen footage of that day I suggest this video, it is from the Today show and goes through the hours of the attack. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_FdUO3irMU, as well most news channels still have the coverage from 9/11 available. 
> 
> 8:46:40: Flight 11 crashes into the north face of the North Tower (1 WTC) of the World Trade Center, between floors 93 and 99. The aircraft enters the tower intact.
> 
> 8:50–8:54 (approx.): Flight 77 is hijacked above southern Ohio, turning to the southeast.
> 
> 9:03:02: Flight 175 crashes into the south face of the South Tower (2 WTC) of the World Trade Center, between floors 77 and 85. Parts of the plane, including the starboard engine, leave the building from its east and north sides, falling to the ground six blocks away.
> 
> 9:28: Flight 93 is hijacked above northern Ohio, turning to the southeast.
> 
> 9:37:46: Flight 77 crashes into the western side of the Pentagon and starts a violent fire.
> 
> 9:58:59: The South Tower of the World Trade Center collapses, 56 minutes after the impact of Flight 175.
> 
> 10:03:11: Flight 93 is crashed by its hijackers and passengers, due to fighting in the cockpit 80 miles (129 km) southeast of Pittsburgh in Somerset County, Pennsylvania. Later reports indicate that passengers had learned about the World Trade Center and Pentagon crashes and were resisting the hijackers. The 9/11 Commission believed that Flight 93's target was either the United States Capitol building or the White House in Washington, D.C.
> 
> 10:28:22: The North Tower of the World Trade Center collapses, 1 hour, 42 minutes after the impact of Flight 11. The Marriott Hotel, located at the base of the two towers, is also destroyed.

**Author's Note:**

> This story will follow their lives together through song, I will put explanations at the end of each chapter of the songs used, and/or any events that are mentioned if you want to learn more.


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